Spreading Holiday Cheer, 20 Contacts at a Time

One thing the holiday season reminds me of is how lazy and neglectful technology has allowed us to become. And I'm not talking about microwaves or cars or high speed internet; I'm referring to text messaging. More specifically, the ever obnoxious "mass" text message. This is the generic message you get on every holiday that you're sure got sent to about 15-20 other people by this same person, at the same time.

Now it's not the text message that really bothers me so much - it's a pleasant thing to hear from someone on a holiday, not to mention the mini-thrill you get from receiving a text. No, what bothers me about it is just how goddamn insincere it really is.

Think about it for a minute. The claim would be, "I was thinking about you on Christmas, didn't you get the text message I sent you?" But what they're really saying is, "You're not important enough for me to actually want to talk to on Christmas, but while scrolling through my contact list, I found your name and decided I don't really hate you, so I added you as the 17th person that will read 'Merry X-Mas! MUAH!' on your cell phone."

You might be a very thoughtful person, and we might actually be close friends, but if you don't actually want to talk to someone on Christmas, don't half-ass it. It's perfectly obvious that it's not a personalized message, and the only person you're going to convince that you were being thoughtful is yourself. I'm not trying to be mean or make anyone feel bad, just stop with the nonsense already.

So if you sent me a message this holiday and didn't get a response, don't take it personally. It's just principle.