Letter to Klondike

Dear Klondike,

I noticed in your ad campaign that folks all around the world will seem to do damn near anything to get a Klondike bar. Don't get me wrong - I'll enjoy a Klondike bar just as much as the next guy. But what I can't understand is why people would go to such great lengths to get one. Please excuse me if I'm drawing an inappropriate parallel, but it seems strikingly similar to what a heroin addict might do. Is there some secret ingredient that causes people to act in such a strange manner? I'll admit that I've never been tempted to do anything irrational to get a Klondike bar, but I suppose there's always a chance that I am immune to the secret ingredient, and that possibility alone makes it worth asking. Please let me know if I am correct in being suspicious (don't worry, I'm cool... really, you can tell me). Also, I was wondering why so many polar bears would eat Klondike bars. Is it a regional thing, or are the ones I've seen simply smarter than the average bear?

Sincerely,
Nick Tully


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