Another Unemployment Movie List

I have once again found myself without steady work for an extended period of time. Keeping with tradition, I've made a list of all the movies I've watched in that time. I don't know when I'll start working again, so this list is incomplete.

Bruno
All Quiet on the Western Front
Near Dark
Obsessed
The Way of the Gun
High Plains Drifter
Rocky
Rocky 2
Rocky 3
Rocky 4
Heckler
Donnie Brasco
Sunset Blvd
There Will Be Blood
The Orphanage
Little Giants
The Men Who Stare At Goats
Paul Blart: Mall Cop
Seven Pounds
Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist
Money Train
Bad Boys
Beverly Hills Chihuahua
Hot Fuzz
The International
The Mist
Pearl Harbor
South Central
Stuck on You
Vanishing Point
A Very Sunny Christmas
Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia
Animal House
White Men Can't Jump
District 9
Avatar
The Road Warrior
Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey
The Family Man
Arthur
The Wedding Singer
Harlem Nights
Brazil
My Cousin Vinnie
The Killer Elite
Like Father, Like Son
Daybreakers
Con Air
Requiem for a Dream
Youth in Revolt
World's Greatest Dad
Europa Europa
To Die For
Where The Wild Things Are
Creepshow
Wayne's World 2
Terminator 2: Judgment Day
It Might Get Loud
Zombieland
The Fan
History of the World: Part I
Escape from LA
Watchmen
Welcome Home, Roscoe Jenkins
The Strangers
Pride and Glory
The Rock
Tropic Thunder
Island of the Dead
Prey
The Jerk
Yes Man

Bernard Pollard: Anti-Patriot

This past Sunday, Wes Welker was lost for the playoffs when he tore both his ACL and MCL while making an awkward cut in the Patriots' opening drive. It seems like a fluke accident, since he was not contacted, and was apparently the result of poor turf conditions. However, there are other circumstances that raised an eyebrow or two. Who was the defensive player that fell on top of Welker after he went down? Yes, for the second time in little more than a year, Bernard Pollard, the "Anti-Patriot," has been at the epicenter of a devastating knee injury to a pivotal New England football star, as seen here, to Welker:


And here, to Tom Brady:


Sure, it could be a coincidence. In fact, that seems likely. It seems likely, but it isn't. Let's take a closer look at some of the recent heartbreaks that have happened in the lives of the Patriots. Remember the week 10 game at Indianapolis? The game that New England had all but locked up at halftime, only to suffer the most epic second half collapse in modern memory? Surely, everyone remembers the most critical play of this game, in which Bill Belichick, not trusting his defense, decided to go for it on 4th and 2, on the Pats' own 28 yard line, with 2:08 to play in the 4th. Kevin Faulk was famously denied the critical yardage on a short pass, and the Colts went on to win the game. Did anyone notice who was at Peyton Manning's side at the end of the game? Believe it:


And what about the greatest national tragedy of our time (including 9/11, which is a distant second)? The 2007 Patriots, who had gone 18-0 and were poised to become the first undefeated team since the '72 Dolphins and the first in NFL history to go 19-0, were upset in the Superbowl by the underdog Giants. New England had already beaten the Giants in week 17 to solidify their undefeated regular season. What changed between that game and the Superbowl? To find out, we'll need to take a look at what many believe to be the turning point in that game: Eli Manning miraculously escaping a three man sack and heaving a prayer to David Tyree, who caught the ball against his helmet while being tackled.


Proof positive. Bernard Pollard is the Anti-Patriot. And may his punishment, as he burns in hell for all of eternity, be to have both his ACLs and MCLs torn at breakfast every morning by a devil in a Brady jersey and a goblin in a Welker jersey.

Also, his breakfast will be cold and will taste terrible.